Red Lights

Today i did my first amsterdam touristic round, from hitting the red-light district to going to coffeeshops. it's been two and a half months since i moved here, and i have been living quite a safe Dutch life. So i took the opportunity of having a typical tourist friend over, and we walked around the old quarter.

It's a strange feelings you get when what you'd normally classify as taboo becomes perfectly legitimate and popular, and right there under your nose. Looking at the girls in the windows struck me with a seesaw of lust and disgust, desire and pity, lingering and escape. that puzzling pendulum of temptation.

A dialogue went on between me and my friend Craig (visiting from colorado) about whether the smiles the girls wore were genuine. Doesn't take a genius to figure that red-light girls will make you feel wanted and desired to lure you in, make you feel good about yourself, do the transaction, then move on. but part of me could see a difference between one smile and another. Maybe it was just my illuded self that made me think that i caught a couple of them really smiling at me. The desire to be attractive, and hot-girl-approved, made me think that it must be the beret i was wearing that made me stand out to the girls from the sea of all-british hooligan-looking men gathering outside their windows, dripping with drool and urging with phrases of excitement.

A lot of the girls were on their cellphones as they waited for a real man to take the leap from spectator to client. Some lit their cigarettes. Some were very chubby. some were very old but nevertheless unwilling to give up their throne of seduction to the young skinny girls of these days. Craig kept making excused to make another round in the district, as we killed time waiting for his girlfriend coming from Paris by car to contact us.

The girlfriend and her friends arrived seeking joints. and joints they got. i was on the verge of joining in when i finally got back to my senses realizing that my body was as unfamiliar with these drugs as an elephant with french caviar. So i braved one good ol' english tea cup to sip on while the rest took their journey to the other side. craig wouldn't let me be until i accepted a small piece of space cake (vanilla flavored). theoretically this is supposed to kick in 2 hours later. i waited for something to happen, but apparently the portion i ate wasn't big enough. i guess now at least i can check it off the list of all the things to do before i die. whatever